God Has Not Let This Place Destroy Me!

This is what this ugly prison has done for me – brought me to my Master.

God Has Not Let This Place Destroy Me!

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I wake up this beautiful God-filled morning, and I begin to count my blessings. Looking out the window, I see the trees that are so green and billowy.

I smile when I think that small spindly plants became these wondrous, marvelous trees. Dandelions and puffballs greet my eyes and once again I’m smiling: God’s beauty in one luxurious blanket. I turn away from my window to start my day. The usual commotion awakens the suppressed feelings inside me. Women are yelling, cursing, and fighting over the last remaining shower stall. This prison is the stepping stone to the devil’s playground.

I try to forget the bars on the windows as I look out, and I try to block out the arguing and cursing. But I can’t fight the emotions that flood my being when I close my eyes and think about my family. My loved ones. The ones that I hurt and humiliated because of my selfishness. As I ponder my thoughts, I am ashamed and embarrassed by my actions. The worst part of this whole prison ordeal is the shame I carry on my shoulders, and the constant ache I have for being away from the very people who love me the most. This is not the life I want for myself.

I go to my Lord as a crippled child carrying a cross with a huge block of wood on each side. On the one side, boiling like a bowl of hot tar, are the lies, deceit, the gossiping, the cursing, the cheating, and the pain. On the other side, smelling like a sweet pot of gardenias, shining like the brightest sun, are my family, my friends, my new life, my Bible. I walk up to Christ and lay down my burden, my cross. He takes it without even asking any questions or looking up at me. He points to his gleaming white sheets on a glorious blanket of clouds as I lay down my tired self. He guards me and watches over me as I sleep the most peaceful sleep I’ve had for years. As I awaken he takes my hand and he leads me to the pot of gardenias. I pick it up and it is so light and easy to carry. The dreaded tarry pot is gone. God took it and he destroyed it for me.

This is what this ugly prison has done for me—brought me to my Master. He has taken away the garbage I no longer want. God has not let this place destroy me. He has taken something monstrous and turned it into something so beautiful. I still have a lot of questions: Why? How much longer? When, my Lord? But I have given God full control over my life and he leads the way. This will be done in his time and with his will. As long as I keep my gaze upon his face, I’ll be just great!

As I look through the window, I see the gorgeous trees, the lovely green grass and the magnificent blooming flowers. I don’t even notice the bars that bind the windows.