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Approximately nine months ago at a different facility, I picked up one of your pamphlets written for prisoners— “God Forgives: Can I?”
I kept it for a while until one day, I opened it to read. I soon realized that it required an “action” step. So I placed it on my TV stand, thinking “I’ll do this when I have more time.”
Month after month passed. I looked at the pamphlet every day. It never seemed like the right time to take action. Little did I know that I was unwilling to forgive. I had grown accustomed to the pain, resentment, anger, and unforgiveness I was harboring. I wanted vengeance and retaliation. I wanted those people to hurt like I was hurting.
As the days continue to pass, I gave the pamphlet in front of me little thought. I was still dwelling over my inner emotions. Thinking back, it’s kind of funny how I thought that God should forgive me while in the back of my mind, I was plotting my revenge.
Soon March 9 rolled around, and the season of Lent was upon us! I had decided that for the first time in my life, I would put an honest effort toward fasting, praying, and repentance. On March 10, I dusted off my little pamphlet and did “Day One,” which included journaling. I’ve never kept a journal before and had mixed feelings about writing down my feelings.
On “Day Three,” one of the “actions” was to write a letter to someone that I needed to say “I’m sorry” to. A part of me wanted to just ignore this action, but after praying, I wrote a letter to my mom, whom I had not spoken to or written to in over three years. It came from the heart, and at its conclusion, I was in tears. This has not happened much in my life; remorse is not one of my strong points. Writing that letter to my mom unburdened my soul in ways I can’t describe.
Today is the fourteenth and final day in the pamphlet, and I feel much better about myself. I know I still have much work to do, and maybe there is still some unforgiveness lingering in me. I know as my relationship with God grows stronger and as I practice the things I’ve learned in your pamphlet, God will bless me with the grace to be able to let go of all of these feelings. I’ve passed along God Forgives: Can I? so it can work in other people’s lives.
— David, Michigan.
(God Forgives: Can I? is available free in both English and Spanish. Also online at waupartners.org.)
